As we leave 2018, we invite you join us to reflect on the question: what would you like to leave this year with and what would you like to move into this next year with (in terms of personal growth)?
Here are the answers from a few of the AFO team members. Feel free to share your reflection in the comment section below. We look forward to reading your response.
Although this is kind of a constant, I particularly struggled this year with feeling like I didn’t do enough. Graduating college in May and applying to grad schools this fall, I’ve had this persistent feeling that had I only “done a little bit more,” or “tried a little bit harder,” I would be better off than I am now. So in the last moments of 2018, I want to offer myself something that other people have been telling me, but that I haven’t been able to internalize myself - the acknowledgment that I did the best that I could. I don’t think it will be easy to leave certain negative feelings I’ve had about myself in the past year, because I have been carrying them for my whole life, but I’d like to try.
I want to move into this next year knowing that I have a right to be here, and to celebrate the things that I’ve achieved. I want to remember that my voice, my life, is valuable.
This is something I have struggled with for a long time but as I grow and become more self-aware, it is something I know is necessary: boundary setting in my personal relationships. I’d like to leave 2018 with all the self-doubt and negative self-talk I have cultivated over the years. I hope to move into the new year with more self-assurance, a deeper self-respect, and deeper self-worth. No one and nothing is as constant as the relationship we have with ourselves. So, I am working on prioritizing my needs, boundaries, and desires for the future. A tweet that has been circulating social media lately has resonated with me and stuck: the idea that we should be others’ peace when really we need to be that to ourselves. Be at peace with yourself. No one can bring you peace the way you can for yourself, and that entails listening to your needs and respecting them. Others will follow your example in their relationship with you, from you. And, if not? Well, then they don’t get the privilege of your presence moving forward.
Forward with peace,
In this new year, I am going to prioritize the integration my creativity, schooling, relationships, and spirituality/self.
In 2018, I felt distracted, hopeless, and stretched too thin. In turn, I was hard on myself about not being able to show up fully in many areas of my life. I’d like to leave the shame, guilt, and anxiety that came from being “plugged in” 24/7 and being constantly behind on emails, DMs, messages, texts, etc. I want to have more intentional and quality interactions to cultivate community and move towards actualizing the world we’re dreaming of.
I hope to stay focused, present, and reflective through 2019.
I would like to leave behind all the self-doubt I have carried with me about how well my writing would be received publicly. I started off this year in a housing situation I wasn’t sure about and only the barest sense of where my poetry and essay writing could develop. I now have 70 poems and a variety of blog posts and essay pieces which have been published in many different online formats. I know I can keep growing because I have already grown so much already. So, I think it is time to put to rest this self-doubt and insecurity I have held onto for so long regarding my writing and believe in myself more.
I would like to move into 2019 recommitted to building my writing platform and get back to working on music the way I used to. I want to build my writing platform, get more pieces out into the world, and continued to grow and heal this wonderful woman I know I am becoming. I want to move into 2019 more hopeful than I started 2018, with more joy and peace of mind to follow from that hope.